Slaying the dragon

20 years ago I made the ill informed decision to try smoking a cigarette. Of course, I have a very addictive nature and I was hooked shortly there after. I was 20 then, I'm facing 40 now.

I remember growing up with smokers thinking I would never want to smoke. In high school I never considered lighting up a cigarette. It was college and the pressures of peers on that level in which I made the decision that would impact so many years of my life.

This flu season I came down with possibly the worst case of flu I personally have ever experienced. It got to a point where I couldn't inhale a cigarette and it really made me mad until a light came on in my little blonde head. If I couldn't inhale the darn things why try.

I am four days into living without cigarettes in my life. I have no idea if it will last forever but I do know it will last for the rest of today. My body is attempting to recover not only from the flu, but from 20 years of toxic chemicals being sucked into my lungs nearly hourly. My cough is more horrible than ever and my sinuses are a mess. This is all part of the process according to the abundant information available on the web. Maybe next week I will feel well. I do know this, if I continue to smoke, the horrible feeling of helplessness I had while I was sick with a lung infection will be a daily walk and I do not want to experience that.

Wish me well in my journey. I'm sure I will find some humor in all this quitting soon enough but for now, I'm just making it as best I can hour by hour and day by day. I pray for a deep breath that doesn't hurt, and a nose that will quit running.