Random Thoughts of a Wine Soaked Mind

Memories of Thanksgiving

2009-11-25T19:28:00.002-05:00

Ah.......Thanksgiving! It congers up a Norman Rockwell scene in the mind of many folks, but memories, real memories are not made up of Norman Rockwell perfection, but rather the joyous memories of imperfections.

I love the write about my Mom. My Mom was a really incredible lady. Not because she was a perfect Mother, but because she was strong, she was smart and she tried so damn hard to make it through a life that was anything but perfect. I like to think I'm like my Mom.

As I think back on Thanksgivings past I have to think of my Mom, Cookie Wright. Can I digress for a moment and tell you, your life is an interesting experience when your Mom's name is Cookie.

Despite her shortcomings, my Mom valued family tradition and no matter if the house was full or if it was just her and I, she always cooked Thanksgiving dinner. Cookie wasn't a good cook, but she tried.

My favorite Thanksgiving memory was one which only she and I shared. Although I have three siblings, I am the youngest by far so much of my adventure with Cookie was solo and may I say memorable.

In the fall of 1987, I was a freshman at Culver-Stockton College in Canton Missouri and that was also the year that Cookie switched jobs and moved to Mountain Home Arkansas. She moved over the Thanksgiving weekend to a tiny lake house on Norfork Lake. I drove from Canton to Mountain Home to spend the Holiday with her. It was day two in the new house. What Mom failed to realize is, the stove in the house was powered by propane and the propane tank was nearly empty. When it came time to cook Thanksgiving dinner, that tank was bone dry - we had no stove, no oven.

My Mom was ever resourceful and would not be talked into going out to eat. It was just the two of us but she was going to cook a Thanksgiving meal. I learned that Thanksgiving in 1987 that a Turkey can be cooked in a microwave and pumpkin pies will cook in a toaster over. I learned that a Mom will do what she has to do to make a dinner for a child who would not come to appreciate her efforts until after her death. I learned that family tradition is worth something. Most of all it was reinforced for me that Moms really are magic!

I have spent my adult life as a Mother trying to make the holidays perfect for my children. I do things a bit differently than Cookie did. This year, my house is not perfectly clean this night before Thanksgiving, I haven't even begun to cook and I'm not even stressed out. This year, I'm taking a page from Cookie's playbook. I'm going to love my kids more than anything in this world, I'm not going to expect anything to be perfect and I'm going to try my best but it may not work out "just so". I want my kids to remember how much I love them, not how the turkey tasted in 2009 and I think that will be just fine.

The American Woman in Today's Economy

2009-11-17T15:27:00.001-05:00

It is true that most American families will spend less this Christmas season than in past years, the gifts that are purchased will have more thought, more meaning and more effort than ever before. Considering the Christmas shopping duty and task customarily falls to the female it is she who use her expertise to take this year’s more limited resources and transform them into meaningful holiday memories. As these holiday memories begin to take shape in her mind, she will pull her family together in a way which may have been missing in past years when the money flowed more freely and the gift were abundant. All in all this economic crisis can have a silver lining as America’s matriarchs reach into their bag of tricks to make sure each and every member of her family feels the magic of the holiday season rather than the sting of the economic shortfalls. As with most things in most societies, it will be the female who brings together individuals, eases fears and eases her family and community into a new situation. Once there is comfort in the family and community, fears will begin to ease and as fear diminishes, pocketbooks will once again begin to open. You see, economists can use facts and figures, charts and graphs but if you completely take the human element out of the equation, all that analysis will be for not. It is the true strength of the American Woman who can help transform economic tragedy into an opportunity for growth.
When the American Woman faces a challenge, she will almost always not only rise to the occasion, but she will make the necessary difference to change the world.

Adventures with Boys

2009-10-25T17:38:00.003-04:00

"Hey Mom, what do you think is big enough to reach the roof?" The 12 year old asks

"What? Why?" I respond

"Because my football is in the gutter and need to get it" he responds

"You are not climbing on the roof" I say

"Why not?" he asks

"Really?" I respond

"You just don't know how good my balance is" he says as walks away disgruntled at being thwarted once again by his over protective mother.

Just another normal day raising my boys. I talk a lot about raising my boys when I have indeed managed to raise a girl to adulthood. The fact is she just never asked to climb on the roof I have been spoiled.

Cleaning up after boys is always a grand adventure. My middle son loves snakes and it is a constant battle in the house as to why Mom just won't let him get a live one of his very own. He does have quite a collection of replica snakes, some are quite real looking. There was the time I made his bed, shook out the comforter and froze in place when a replica fake snake fell onto my foot. It took a good five seconds for me to come to the realization that the snake was indeed fake.

Laundry time is another adventure. Today a 1950's silver pickup truck came out of the washing machine shiny clean after it got the deluxe wash in my front loader. The cleanest matchbox in town!

My boys have their own TV area. When I was a kid I was lucky to have a phone in my room at age 16, spoiled by some standards and I sure as heck did not have my own TV. The kid's TV area in my house has cinema type recliner seating, an all leather coffee table/trunk and a 52 inch HD TV hooked up to a Wii and cable. When we built this room we envisioned hours of family time taking place but the fact is, video games and SpongeBob Square Pants took over.

I cleaned that room today, as I do about every third day. Here is a list of finds that awaited me.

Candy Wrappers
An empty Gatorade bottle
A tiny skateboard truck
A tiny skateboard missing a truck
One googly eye
One very crusty sock (found behind the chairs)
Several fall leaves
A lollipop stick
One empty milk cup
One Wii remote under the chair
Lots of dirt from some body's shoe
Three pairs of tennis shoes (one particularly stinky)

When I hit the googly eye I just thought it all was very funny. I thought at that moment that there will come a time in my life when there will be no chance of every finding a random googly eye on my floor. Crusty socks will be but a memory and candy wrappers will always land in the garbage.

I remember when they were all babies and I was cautioned that I would miss the days of diapers and crying and tiny clothes and socks. I have to be honest, I don't miss diapers but I do miss tiny socks and first smiles, a coos and snuggles.

I suppose I will also miss dirty boy smell covered with Axe spray cologne. I will miss the excitement of seeing the bugs one of them just caught or the goal in a soccer game but by that time there will be new first and grand adventures to catch and see and experience. Until then I will continue to document their crazy behavior and all the googly eyes I find.

The Question of Marriage

2009-10-19T18:38:00.002-04:00

It is all around at the moment. It may be my age, perhaps it is just the time when couples who have been just that, a couple for a while find that maybe coupleness isn't for them any longer.

It seems as if I know an extraordinary number of couples who are either in the middle of a split, verge of divorce or who have just gotten a divorce. Right of passage some might say, nothing is forever some other may muse. I have noticed a trend in the relationship breaks of which I know.

I have heard the story of men living their life as normal as ever when one day it seems like out of no where their wife announces she is done, finished, wants him out. The poor guy stands there in shock. He wonders what happened to his happy fairytale life he thought he was living. Maybe it was not perfect, but he was happy - he wonders what happened.

Giving this some thought I have come up with some theories. Maybe today's late 30's early 40's women are experiencing midlife crisis in record numbers and looking for excitement. Maybe now that women are fully entrenched in what was once considered the man's world of corporate America they feel that they too are entitled to the little thing called midlife crisis where they walk away from responsibilities and into the arms of a younger man and a fancy sports car. But these women don't seem to be reaching for younger men and fancy cars. They seem to be reaching for older men who offer more stability or remain solo.

Then it occurred to me that maybe these women were just tired of being left holding the bag. Tired of the lies of society, the lies of the men they married. I'm not saying these men lied on purpose, but seriously, what promises were made and what is the reality. These are answers which may never been found because each individual case is different.

I know so many women who work full time, raise kids, do homework, cook dinner, attend extra-curricular activities, and find no time for themselves. When this becomes too much to bear, and it eventually will in all but the most perfect of wives they will have only one place to turn the blame and it is going to be the husband.

I'm not blaming men, I think it is the fault of women that they are so dependent. In our quest to become independent, we found out independence by making men dependent. If there was a happy medium happiness could possibly last for 70 years. I don't know what the secret to a lasting marriage is. I hope someday to be able to tell you as I traverse the water of matrimony myself, working now on my second decade in this union.

I have only been thinking about these issues lately because I know so many people going through the horror of divorce. I'm not personally and since I know one of my biggest fans is my husband I will say I'm not planning on it.

I just know one thing, don't think your wife is super woman, don't put too much on her and don't act like a baby when things don't go your way. Grow up, put on your big boy pants, notice her, appreciate her and do more than your part and then maybe, just maybe your marriage will last.

This blog is totally from a woman's perspective and there are always different perspectives on every issue and this is just one and it has nothing to do with me personally. I have seen a pattern around me and maybe I'm trying to figure it out so it does not happen to me.

I can say to husbands a few things. If you are tired, bet the bank your wife is twice as tired but she will still make sure the lights are off, the doors are locked and lunches are packed before she goes to bed. She is still waiting for the time the responsibilities of the house are optional. She is waiting for her carefree moments. You might not realize how much you depend on her to make things right and if you "feel" like it you might do what needs to be done. A family and a marriage is more than going to work each day - everyone does that and if you are not even doing that, you are lucky to be married at all!

Again I say, these are observations and that is all. Agree, don't agree. Maybe you have some ideas as to why so many women are abandoning ship after years of marriage. It is an interesting cultural study to me. Sorry I couldn't add sarcasm, I could have but it seemed harsh.

Nothin' Funny

2009-10-18T10:17:00.002-04:00

I can usually call upon my sick sarcastic humor to pull me through nearly anything.

When I crashed my car this week I joked about it being a matchbox car. When I feel trapped by the current economic situation I joke about the state of politics. If my house is a mess I make sarcastic fun of the boys who create the disaster.

With my youngest of four into day four of some type of flu I have no sarcasm, no humor. My heart is aching for my little man. This is the one who is so very full of life, always on the move, a constant source of fun comments and adorable reactions.

For the past four days he has not had much to say. Even if he had the energy to exercise his wit and 7-year-old wisdom we would not hear him because he has no voice. A small little squeak is the sound we hear when he tried to talk. Couple this weak voice with very dark circles and big blue eyes and you have a recipe for worry on the part of a Mom.

I have never been one of those over-reactive parents. I understand for the most part how a virus works. I know the doctor will tell me to treat the symptoms, keep him hydrated and have him rest. There are no antibiotics to fight a virus so it is a waiting game.

Last night went well for him. He slept. I say I'm not over-reactive but I am cautious. I have had him sleeping with me and his Dad has been sleeping in his recliner. Last night I volunteered for the sofa to let his Dad get some reasonable sleep but keep an eye on my baby. They both slept. This was good.

The night before I was not so lucky. The fever would not go down, he was restless and miserable. He was sweating and when he did sleep he would wake terrified by something I am told are called Night Terrors. At times he would look at me as if he didn't even know who I was. I won't go into Night Terrors here but suffice it to say they are a terrifying experience for child and parent but for the most part harmless in the long run.

Today I will continue to comfort, treat symptoms and do all of the things a Mother does. The fact is people get sick, kids get sick and we recover but it does not make the journey any easier, no matter how many times you have done it.

It is what a Mom does

2009-10-17T00:24:00.002-04:00

I was jolted from sleep by the words a Mother does not want to hear.

"Mom, I'm going to be....."

That sentence never concludes with words, just vomit. Once you have cleaned vomit up and soothed a sick child you are pretty much awake.

I sit, I watch, I listen. It is what a Mom does at 12:30 am when her sick and feverish child lays beside her. Anticipating each movement, each breath, analyzing each movement.

He is awake too. Two days of fever induced lethargy has left him rested. He is bored, but sick. The Tylenol has kicked in so the fever is diminishing, yet again. He feels better as the medicine masks the symptoms of his small body and army of an immune system attacking the virus that has invaded.

This is not the first time I have sat, watched and waited through the night. It most likely will not be the last. Sleep for a Mother with a sick child is not an option. It is easier now that he and his siblings are older. I do not suffer from constant sleep deprivation as I did when they were babies. I can easily sit and watch and wait the night away.

The stillness of the house is comforting in it's own way. It is not often it is quiet and still. It gives opportunity to reflect.

As I care for him in his illness with the love and kindness of my heart, he will in turn grow to give and show love to others. It is the cycle we hope to fulfill. Each has his or her own part and sacrifice to make in the process. Mine is to stand Motherly guard as a nurse and a comfort. His Father, although sleeps, does so restlessly in less than ideal comfort. It was his Father who was displaced from his own bed to allow my sitting and watching and waiting. I could easily have pulled up a chair in the child's room but I did not. At least I have the comfort of my own bed should I find sleep tonight.

It is so indescribable, the love a Mother feels for her child. When they are hurt you mend, when they are sick you tend. Sometimes all you can do is lay your head down and pray for help and strength. It is at times like this that I think of Mothers who have children who are seriously ill. Not just a school yard virus but an illness so powerful as to leave you powerless. The hours of sitting and watching and waiting must be overwhelming at times.

How terrifying it is to make the decisions of when to reach out for help and when the sail on alone. Do I bring him to the doctor, do I wait it out, will this progress to a point where it becomes an emergency because the wrong decision was made. These things all float through my mind as I sit, and I wait and I watch.

Each cough makes me jump, each breath is noted. I reach to him - is he hot? Does he feel cold? Is he comfortable.

My watching and waiting may be coming to an end for this evening. His fever seems to have fully subsided and he has fallen back into slumber. I will close my eyes and try to sleep and at some point I will. It is with hopefulness I pray I wake to my energy filled chatterbox tomorrow, but if I do not, I will sit, I will watch and I will wait. It is what a Mom does.

Halloween or Whores on Parade

2009-10-16T19:58:00.004-04:00

When I was a kid I LOOOOVED Halloween. The idea of dressing up and walking around the neighborhood collecting sweet treats with my friends was nearly as good as Christmas. I longed for the afternoon my Mom would take me down to the Yellow Front department store and I would cruise the Halloween section looking for my costumes. In my day your costume came in a square cardboard box with a cellophane top. Inside that precious box was a plastic apron and a mask. The mask covered your whole face and had two slits for your eyes, two holes near your nose and a slit at your mouth. Many a tongue was cut on that mouth slit because little kids couldn't resist sticking their tongue through the opening made for breathing.

One year I was Barbie with my pink plastic apron that tied in the back and my mask with Barbie's face printed on the front. My favorite costume - I wore it for two years was Frankenstein. Again, I had a green plastic apron tied in the back and a mask with the obligatory holes in it for limited sight and breathing.

When I got a bit older we made the costumes. There was the year I was a mummy, wrapped in gauze from head to toe and of course the ghost made of a white sheet. I think I may have been a vampire once as well.

Let us fast forward 20+ years. Now Halloween costumes range from the grotesque to the strange and less is apparently more.

Any other time during the year you would have to visit the local "adult" store to get the kind of costumes you can find during the month of October in every neighborhood department store. High heels, stockings, short shirts and barely there tops are passed off as "Minnie Mouse", "Sexy Pirate" or "Wench."

Witches are not even sacred on this most sacred of witch days. "The Sexy Witch" is now the vogue. I'm sorry but Witches in my day were not sexy. A witch came in two varieties, the green kind with a big nose, a mole with a hair and a cackle or the good witch, like Glenda from the Wizard of Oz with her flowing gown and her sweet red cheeks and cherry lips. Now we have "Sexy Witch" with all her major parts hanging out and high heels.

Even little girl costumes are out of line. Each year I am amazed at how many Mothers allow their 10 to 12-year old girls dress in lingerie and walk around the neighborhood asking for candy - really, is that what it appears they are really after?

Boys are not immune either. The bloodier and more gory the better. My boys want fake blood running down their face and knives and sickles in their hands. Each boy wants to out due the other with gruesome and scary.

Remember when it was just funny to put on your Mom's robe, paint your face with cold cream and put roller in your hair and go trick or treating as "a crazy housewife?"

I must have been busy doing something else when Halloween become Whore-o-ween but I'm not sure I understand where this is going. I do know there are going to be some very confused little boys who grow up wondering why Minnie Mouse had all her business hanging out on Halloween or why those nurses Breasts seem to be jumping out of her top.

Dressing up is fun, being sexy is fun but dressing up in lingerie should not be for public viewing unless you are in a profession which also allows for public access.

If you are searching for a costume for your party this year ladies, come on over. I will give you two bandaids, a G-string, an apple and a red bow for your hair and you can go as Snow White.

Dude Cried Whiplash.

2009-10-15T18:04:00.004-04:00

I have had three auto accidents in my entire 24 years behind the wheel as a driver of an automobile. The first when I was 16 which was clearly my fault but knowing the police in a small town can turn any accident into No Fault. The second when I was 26 which was clearly NOT my fault but that was the day I met my husband ( a blog for another day ) and the third was last night.

Of the three accidents I have had, the one last night was the most inconvenient by far but minimal by most accident standards. I did make a mistake due to sheer exhaustion and rainy weather and I did pull into another car but it was not a huge accident.

My older but beautiful VW Passat took the brunt of the damage with her entire front being ripped off. She sat in the cold Virginia rain like a woman who had just lost her bikini top. All her major parts were visible but unscathed. The 2007 Eclipse had a dent in the front corner panel and being made entirely of fiberglass it is amazing my car looked like a matchbox car and his looked like someone kicked it.

The impact of this crash was so minimal I thought I had stopped and avoided the crash. Of course my VW is a well designed German machine (much like her driver) and she is supposed to fall apart in places while remaining strong and protective of her passengers (again, much like her driver).

Dude driving the other car was a driven by a 25 year old man on his way home from his job as the Assistant Manager at Taco Bell. We both got out of our vehicles and I was already on the phone calling for assistance and asked him, while on the phone with 911 - do you need any medical assistance? He said "No, I bumped my head but I'm fine." While we waited for the State Trooper a volunteer EMT came over and again asked if we needed medical assistance to which we both replied "No."

It was a cold hour in the rain while we waited for the Trooper to write it all up and I watch my Passat driven away and what equals a stretcher for cars. Dude got into his dented car and drove home.

Fast forward to this afternoon. My insurance agent informs me that the "real" owner of the car has already called and is looking for a rental car because his can't be driven. Dude who was driving also made a trip to the ER where he was told he has whiplash from a minimal impact crash. Yea right. Dude you do not have whiplash, you my dear have a bump on the side of your head. My own children have given me bigger goose eggs with their little infant heads on the bridge of my nose. At least that draws blood you big sissy!

Dude was very nice at the scene, even cracking jokes about how nice my car was and how he thought it would have held up better. He also asked where I worked and then informed me he was the Assistant Manager at Taco Bell and he thought maybe I had gotten a bad lunch and saw him and decided to ram him. I thought he was a pretty cool kid. I should have taken notice when he mentioned how nice my car was three times. Dude it is a 2002 Passat, it isn't a freaking BMW. It has kid junk in the back seat, she has several door dings but yes, for what she is she is nice. Damn, that Eclipse you were driving is newer and much cooler for God sake. I have a Mom car slightly cooler than a minivan.

This sort of thing makes me crazy. It is what is wrong with society as a whole. This Dude was not hurt. The accident was my fault - clearly - but that doesn't mean you get to cash in on my insurance or what you think you might be able to get out of me. This is why we pay so much for auto insurance. Hell, this is why we pay so much for health insurance. His unnecessary ER visit last night will be yet another insurance claim. Guess what, when Dude and his scamming friend do not get what they want out of the insurance company no doubt they will try to come after me. Some shady lawyer will take the case and although there is no merit at all, it will be a giant pain in my ass and a drain on the system as a whole.

Get a grip people. The basic law of economics is TINSTFL - There Is No Such Thing As a Free Lunch! If you do not earn it, you will pay for it later.

Jokes on you Dudes. You are 20 something males. You insurance is as high as it can get and it is the fault of your counterparts before you. I may have been in fault but in the infamous line from Fried Green Tomatoes:

"I'm older, and have more insurance."

Small Community Bullshit and Holier Than Thou Sinners

2009-10-13T18:39:00.005-04:00

I am a fairly even tempered individual. I'm not one to over react and when I do I quickly retract and redirect, but don't, I repeat, don't mess with my kids.

As many of you know I have four children of my own and my niece lives with me. Five kids. Yes, it is a bunch of kids, frankly abnormal actually. Someone recently even had the courage to ask me why I had so many. What I wanted to say I will say in MY blog because frankly you don't' have to read it. What I wanted to tell that ignorant individual was this:

"I have so many children because I really really like sex and the odds are, no matter how much birth control you use you are going to get knocked up if you participate in an activity you like often enough and you come from fertile stock."

I should have said that just for the shock value, but a well educated, sorority groomed woman does not say such things after she has reached a certain age of maturity. Oops, I wrote it so I guess I haven't reach that level of maturity yet.

Here is my drama of the day. I live in a small private community. It is nearly impossible to describe. We live on a beautiful mountain behind gated and guarded fences and my husband works along side many of our neighbors selling low end to high end timeshare vacations. It is a multi-use planned community full of week long residents on vacation and full time residents in big houses. On the surface it seems like a little piece of heaven, underneath it is it's own plot from Desperate Housewives minus the really good looking people.

My street, my personal Wisteria Lane is rife with rumor and bickering. I live at the end of a well manicured cul-du-sac, well manicured until you get to my manic house. On our block live several interesting people with one thing in common, they all seem to dislike my family, the breeders at the end of the road. Give us a break folks, I'm just a girl from Missouri who was lucky enough to get herself an education.

Today our neighbor two doors down who works with my husband decided to tell the other neighbors that his precious and perfect son was cursed with the "swine flu" caught by his association with "The Bradley Children", in particular Sassle Bradley. Sassle Bradley isn't sick, hasn't been sick and was the hero at his soccer game this week, but he must have some how infected this fair neighbor boy with the insidious Swine Flu (of course if you said H1N1 to this jackass he wouldn't know what you were talking about but trust me he will tell you how smart he is with his Penn State Education.)

As luck would have it my older son was home with a runny nose and general mild flu symptoms that I normally would not give a second thought but hearing the diagnosis from down the street, knowing that if my niece were to get ill she would end up hospitalized due to underlying medical conditions I made a doctors appointment to clear our name. I would like to announce that NO BRADLEY child is ill, Keenan has a mild virus and is cleared for school attendance tomorrow.

Panic swept through our little Peyton place like no bodies business. Anyone who's child had come into contact with mine was on my phone.

"So how is your son? is he okay?" they ask in their fake and caring voice.

Okay, I'll play I thought.

"Which son?"

"Sassle"

"Fine"

You fake bastards are caught in your own manipulative game to bring me down. Sassle isn't even sick. It was Keenan who had a runny nose and NO he doesn't have "Swine Flu." There is one kid on this block who is sick with H1N1 and he belongs to the family down the street who sucked me into their drama today. I like that kid, he has spirit and I am sad that he is sick and even if my son had gotten sick from hanging around him I wouldn't care, I would just try to figure out how to keep my niece well.

Oh but then I find out even more about this precious perfect neighborhood that is plagued by those Arkansas people at the end of the cul-du-sac. My crabby-ass neighbors to the left are up to their old tricks yelling at my kids for going near their yard. Yep, I have Mr. and Mrs. perfect next door, you know the ones, the ones who put a no trespassing sign up at kid level when they moved in five years ago so my babies wouldn't trespass. The kids couldn't read then so it was just funny. Anyway, Mrs. Perfect yelled at my oldest for crossing behind her yard. It isn't like she is a cranky old woman. She is about 30 with a child of her own but somehow mine just annoy her.

I can honestly say I wanted to stand in the middle of my cul-du-sac today and scream at the top of my lungs, "what the hell did I ever do to you people?"

Unfortunately I'm stuck in your perfect land because the value of my house had tanked and I can't sell it for the note that is owned - but neither can you so suck it up, The Bradley's are here to stay and if I could give one word to the wise - DON'T MESS WITH MY KIDS!

By the way I know it is hard to keep them straight but just for reference:

Keenan is the oldest boy and he plays guitar and is guilty of skateboarding down the street. He is really good on the skateboard and is rocking out his electric guitar and when he gets a little better I'm going to buy him a very loud amp.

Zeb is the middle boy and he is the sweet one. He will pick up your garbage, catch bugs for you and never has a cross word to say. He plays center on his football team and is an extraordinary student. If you ever yell at that boy I'm gonna have to put some Arkansas whip ass on you.

Sassle (proper Christian name; Nathaniel) is my baby. He is a gifted actor, soccer superstar and brilliant. Yell at him all you want, he has already figured out most people are stupid. Sassle will be your Senator someday so if I were you I would be nice, you are going to need him to help straighten out your messes.

Kelsey is the girl that hangs with them, she is my niece. Her Mom scares me and I have known her for 40 years so don't even think about yelling at that precious baby.

The oldest one, Mary, nope she isn't me although I have arguments with some of you about it. I can tell you this, the apple doesn't fall far from the tree and she loves those kids and she doesn't know how to temper her statements yet so I wouldn't mess with her.

Yep, we are just the educated rednecks who done good and got them a big house in your neighborhood, suck it up - I'm sure Obama has a plan for that too.

The Great Healthcare Debate and other things

2009-09-10T18:59:00.002-04:00

Today I was asked if I was a conservative or a liberal. Now, for a former conservative talk radio host this kind of stung. I mean, I have never considered myself a liberal and Lord knows I have trashed talked the liberal agenda enough in my life to hold my own seat in congress but I don't think I'm either. I can with absolute certainty tell you I'm NOT a Progressive. That is with a capitol P. I'm progressive yes, but the uber liberals, as I like to call them, are now calling themselves Progressives. (I mean no offense to my one friend who is without a doubt a Progressive, but also incredibly wonderful so I forgive her.)

If I was still a talker on the ole radio today I would have definitely drawn the ire of my conservative friends. I watched and listened to the President last night. I kept my mind open but my ears keen. I did not hear one horrible thing in his healthcare plan. Now, am I naive enough to believe he is going to be able to solve this problem we call the healthcare crisis without it costing me? NO. I unfortunately know first hand how horrific it can be when someone has no healthcare. Trust me when I tell you we have come a long way from the early 1990's when my own mother died due to a lack of health insurance but I will not bore you with the details of a story told all too often.

I applaud the current administration for having the balls to tackle this issue out of the gate. I'm not convinced this bill is the solution but let me tell you what I did hear that I did like. It sounds like someone is finally going to try to take on big insurance companies, this goes into the win column. Tort reform, yes, definitely the win column. Now, public option? What exactly does this mean. The way I understood it explained last night was this would be a not for profit option for the poor and uninsured. I like this idea on the surface. The problem with it is the slippery slope toward socialized medicine it can create. That goes into the "neutral" column.

Something that really sticks in my craw is the heckling of the President. Like him? Hate him? I don't care but no one who is an American, particularly an American legislator should ever be so sophomoric as to heckle a sitting American president. This makes me angry.

When I really consider some of the main issues that cause a fault line in this country I realize I may have become more liberal than conservative.

Gay Marriage: I don't care! How is this even a political issue? What does this have to do with government? If two people love each other and want to get married I don't care and frankly all you bible thumpers, I don't think God cares either. Happiness, Family and Love are what you make them.

Gun Rights: Leave those who want to keep and bear arms the heck alone! Taking away guns or making stronger firearms laws only puts more power in the hands of the criminals. Much like locks keep honest people honest, the same could be said for gun laws.

Abortion: Oh, don't even get me started and I won't take this one on out of respect for my more conservative folks. My beliefs on this issue are spiritually based and God fearing but suffice it to say, what goes on between a woman and HER GOD, is her business.

Taxes: Keep those darn taxes low. The more money that is in the hands of the American people the better. If they really want to fix the economy, let the spend thrift American people keep more of their paycheck. Trust me when I say, they will spend and the economy (which is now a credit based consumer economy) will improve.

Bailouts: Enough already!

The Wars: As an average American citizen I do not have enough information to make a reasonable judgement on this issue. I hate the war, but understand the necessity at this point.

I can tell you this, I don't think the government should own car companies. I believe the free enterprise system can and will eventually fix the economy and I think my children should learn to be contributing members of their society, not leaches looking for a handout. I don't think I am owed a damn thing from anyone. My mistakes are mine to own so I can also own my victories. I believe in a society where women are held in the same esteem as men, but it is never forgotten that we are women. I like the door held for me and spiders killed for me but I better make the same pay for the same job! I like Obama but I think he is a dangerous President because of the people he has around him. I watch FOX news and I like it, although I don't always agree with the pundits. I strongly believe Nancy Pelosi is a dangerous woman and a walking advertisement of why you NEVER get botox.

At the end of the day I am a Patriot and I love my country. We will all survive these hard times and if we are smart we will learn and grow as individuals.

Discovery Vacation

2009-08-23T08:53:00.003-04:00

With the "new" economy, it looked as if the Bradley's would not take a vacation this year. 2009 has been what I call a rebuilding year. A year to try new things and get back on track after 2008 derailed our financial train. As the summer began to come to a close a vacation seemed not only fun, but necessary.

At the last minute, a week before the start of school for the boys, I suggested a quick get away to the beach. My husband and I looked at the finances, the bills, the income and determined it was not possible. Okay let me rephrase this, my husband determined it was not possible and I pouted about it, knowing he was right. My pouting is something that my husband has never been able to stand. It isn't that it makes him angry, it makes him feel powerless. Love will do that to you. When you love someone you want to make them happy.

Wednesday afternoon, the day before we would have left, our destination was still unplanned, but we had taken the time off work and it looked like we would stay home and spend family time. I got a text from my husband saying that the boys were packed, reservations were made and when I got home from work we would be leaving for the Inner Harbor of Baltimore. I didn't even have time to think about it. I walked in the door from work, threw some clothes in a suitcase and we were out the door with our three boys leaving our 18 year old daughter at home for the first time as we headed to out on an impromptu vacation.

We arrived in downtown Baltimore at 10 p.m. We are rural folks, not used to large cities. The traffic, the smells and the noise feel like a foreign country. Of course, as our luck would have it, we got lost in downtown Baltimore while attempting to find the hotel. I was reading the directions off the GPS when I looked up and saw, all around me the Red Light District of Baltimore. "Wow, Mom this is freaky. Look at that" Was what I heard from the back of the minivan. I immediately got on the phone with the hotel and the wonderful security woman brought us to the door of the hotel safely with human turn by turn directions! The boys now refer to that as "the scary part of the city."

We checked into the smallest hotel room I have ever seen. Don't get me wrong, it was nice, clean and well positioned in the city, but small for two adults and three growing boys. Nathaniel immediately found Cartoon Network on the television and the boys settled in to relax.

We were up early and on our way to the Inner Harbor on a hot August morning the next day. It was Arkansas hot. I use that term to describe the humidity more than the heat. We walked the three blocks to the harbor and found the National Aquarium. We saw fish, and snakes and sharks and all sorts of aquatic life. I can't say I think the Aquarium was worth the price of $100 four our family of five. I actually enjoyed the same style attraction in Virginia Beach a few years ago much more. To be honest, I was rather bored, but the boys loved it.

Once we left the aquarium, the heat outside was horrid. Then we discovered the water taxi. We spent the rest of the afternoon riding from attraction to attraction via a modified pontoon boat all for the low low price of $35 for the family and that was an all day price.

The next morning we were going to head home. After all, this was to be a short trip. The boys begged for the beach. Their behavior had been wonderful and I was ready for one more day of fun as well. I jumped on the Internet looking for a beach close to Baltimore and not too far from our home. Ocean City was too far and entirely too expensive. Atlantic City was more of the same, then I found Chesapeake Beach, MD.

A short one hour drive down Maryland route 2 from Baltimore, Chesapeake Beach is a quaint bay side community and a perfect close to a quick vacation. After we checked into the only hotel, The Chesapeake Hotel and Spa we drove the two miles of the bay community. It was quiet and adorable. We found the public access beach area and were very surprised to find a charge to use the beach but as my husband says, there is a a charge for everything these days. The excitement on the faces of the boys was worth any amount of money as they swam in the bay, looking for crabs. We searched the shore for unique shells to bring back to their cousin and relaxed among the locals on the sand. A storm blew in after a few hours and we were forced to leave but those few hours, toes in the sand of the Chesapeake Bay, were worth the entire trip.

The Chesapeake Hotel and Spa is quite a gem. The room was beautiful and smelled like flowers. We had a bay view room with a balcony and the Hotel was a complex with restaurants, both indoors and out, a huge marina, and many beautiful spots of oasis. As I read the about the hotel I realized it was marketing itself as an affordable alternative for destination weddings. It did have a tropical island feel. We dined on Lobster and Fillet Mignon and didn't break a $100 when the bill came. The marina was home to many blue crabs which the boys enjoyed searching for and spotting. Jelly fish made appearances between the docked boats and each one got a name from Zeb as he searched to spot them.

It may have been only a three day vacation and yes, we got slightly lost on the DC beltway on the way home taking us a hour out of our way. We spent money we could ill afford and will have to do some serious budgeting in the weeks to come. It was worth it. I know in my heart the children feel our stresses. They needed a distraction as much as we did and the excitement from them was palatable and worth the time, effort and money.

I also am happy to have discovered Chesapeake Beach. We will return there. It is a far cry from the commercialism found at Virginia Beach or Myrtle Beach. Granted it isn't the ocean, it is the bay, but it is beautiful and quaint and relaxing. Perfect for a family in need of a reminder that family time has no price.

Small Town Entertainment

2009-07-26T17:46:00.002-04:00

It is a sad state of affairs in American Culture when you begin to see the carnival workers as "normal" and the patrons as "the freak show." This the place I find myself after attending my favorite local lawn party.

It wasn't until I moved to Virginia that I even knew about lawn parties. In the Midwest were I grew up it was just a carnival. Carnivals were set up in vacant fields, parking lots and sometimes fairgrounds. Maybe I was to young to notice, but I don't remember any of them ever being fundraisers for a good cause. They were just fun when you were between the ages of 8 and 17. At age 8 I went to the carnivals for the food and fun and by the time I was 17 there were different motives, but they were still fun. My favorite memory of a street carnival from my youth was held in a parking lot and I was about 17. I would tell you that story but that isn't what this blog is about.

Lawn parties are held throughout the valley all summer long by the local volunteer fire departments. My assumption is that these are their single largest fundraiser of the year. My local fire department pulls out all the stops and I consider it the Mother of all lawn parties. I have watched my kids move through the carnival stages over the years and it is fun for me to watch them, and well, the other people too.

We arrived about 7 p.m. last night and minutes after we forked over our 45-dollars to get arm bands for our three boys to ride the nine rides available as much as they could it began to sprinkle. The sprinkles turned quickly into a summer downpour. "Crap" I thought as I looked at my light cotton summer dress. My quick thinking husband found us shelter under a roof built to accommodate the refrigerator truck. Shortly, many other folks joined us, then the smell hit me. The smell of a person who does not use, perhaps for religious purposes or out of plain laziness, a deodorant of any kind. As more people huddled under the shelter to keep dry, the closer the space became, the stronger the aroma. The choice as this point was tough it out or stand in the rain in a thin cotton dress. I toughed it out. Within about 10 minutes the rain stopped and I was thankful to move on into our carnival adventure.

Summer carnival fashion is a real hit or miss in a rural community and mostly it is a miss. Don't get me wrong there were plenty of perfect Mommies in their denim capri pants and reasonable tops but blogging about them isn't very fun, as they are boring in dress and probably boring in personality. Say what you will about the fashions of the 1980's and 90's but our high waisted shorts and jeans held back a lot of sin. If you lay on the bed while you zip those babies up you can hide almost any figure flaw. Today's "low rise" style is adorable on an adorable figure, but the real problem comes in with the not so perfect figure. Because of the cut of these particular shorts it is possible to shove a size 16 body into a size 8 pair of shorts, the results are frightening, but that hasn't stopped the proliferation of chubs on display at a summer lawn party. I saw more flesh pressured to bubble to the top of much to small shorts than a butcher sees when cutting meat. Shall we discuss the halter? Again, an adorable fashion statement, if purchased in the correct size. What was walking around last night was an abundance of shorts too low cut and too small topped by halters that did little to cover the massive flesh oozing from the midsection of girls and women who must not have full length mirrors in their home.

I will say I saw many lovely people with great smiles and white teeth, but I would be remiss if I did not mention the others. When I was a kid it was the carnival workers who lacked a full set of chompers. Last night I was amazed at the number of people who were perfectly comfortable to flash their smiles, with one or several of the most prominent front teeth absent. Couple that with the muffin top on the shorts and the bazaar show of cleavage and my friends you have yourself quite a pornographic freak show.

I am not trying to be negative, I had a blast watching my kids with blue lips from cotton candy (aka spun sugar), adrenaline rushes from the rides and joy in their hearts from "winning" that painted mirror is really priceless.

I will briefly mention a few of my favorite sights. The obese young woman dressed to the nines with a cigarette hanging out of her mouth as she hoisted her toddler onto her hip while at the same time using words that would make a sailor cringe. Then there was the wanna be tough guy who showed up in his black leather jacket complete with angled zippers. There were many many young girls and boys attached at the hip and many other places probably not appropriate for public display. Some folks brought their dogs and I think one young girl might have mistakenly thought she was Paris Hilton.

What is interesting to me is that the carnival workers themselves were among the most normal of the crowd. Maybe Carney is becoming a reasonable profession for the "new economy." I could give it a try. "Come right on up folks, pop a balloon and win a prize, three darts for $5, a winner every time."

Random thoughts on the week

2009-07-19T07:03:00.002-04:00

This past week has been a varied experience and although I had many thoughts and blog ideas, but now that I have the time to write, I don't have a handle on the many thoughts I had. The title of this blog as a whole will be fitting for this entry.

One thing that has had me puzzled this lately is my deodorant. It is Dove Pro-Age. Pro-Age is a line of Dove products marketed to women my age designed to help us fight the aging process. However, should I really be concerned about the perceived age of my underarms? I purchased this product because it was on sale not for it's anti-aging promise. Every time I use it I laugh to myself and wonder if my new youthful underarms will somehow improve my life.

I spent a couple of days this week in intensive sales training. I won't go much into that. It was fantastic but there isn't much funny about it, just interesting. However, one thing did just jump out at me in the first day. In this room full of professional sales people I saw a few saleswomen who really needed a fashion consultant. Seriously ladies, it is no longer 1995. I cannot understand how, in this mass media world, a woman living in 2009 cannot see that box jackets with rolled up sleeves are no longer in style. Using large amounts of hairspray and obnoxious amounts of make-up are not "the look." I think sometimes people in general tend to hold on to a time in their lives that represent happiness to them, it is difficult to let go of that time and that includes the fashion apparently. One fashion mistake that makes me insane is when a professional woman will buy a beautiful suit and then wear the suit jacket with something else other than what it came with. This hardly ever works, unless it is a plain jacket. I cannot put into words why this looks bad, it just does - don't do it.

I am sure next week will provide me with great inspiration for a blog that will once again make you laugh. I guess so much has gone on this week it is hard to harness it all in a simple blog space.

Messed up at Wal-Mart

2009-07-05T17:11:00.002-04:00

Love it or hate it, Wal-Mart is where America shops. The first time I stepped foot in a Wal-Mart I was about 12 years old and it was in West Plains Missouri. Having spent my childhood until that point in the desert southwest, I had never seen or heard of a Wal-Mart. We shopped at Sears, JC Penney and Yellow Front when I was growing up in Mesa Arizona in 1970's. In 1980 we came to rest in Missouri and I was introduced to Wal-Mart. This seemed like a virtual shopping nirvana to a young girl. Long before the "super store", this retail establishment quickly became a source of comfort and routine. Each Saturday my Mother and I would set out in the morning and go to Wal-Mart to get the necessities of the week. We would then go to the grocery store next door, in this case it was Consumers Grocery and get the food we would need for the week.

Once I became a young Mother and working adult myself I maintained the same routine only in a different town. Each Saturday I would take my daughter to Wal-Mart, get the needed items, shampoo, glass cleaner, clothes soap, etc. We would then stop next door at the grocery, get our needed items and go home. For many years this was the tradition. Once the SuperCenter was introduced Wal-Mart became the only destination on Saturday morning and it was comfortable.

One of the greatest and strangest things about Wal-Mart to me was the familiarity it has brought over the years. The welcoming blue and white of the store's interior, the arrangement of the items in the store. The commonality of every Wal-Mart, every where. I remember going into a Wal-Mart in Rolla Missouri because my daughter had become sick during a trip to St. Louis. I knew exactly where to go to get what I needed, because all Wal-Mart stores were arranged in the same manner, in a way that made sense. There was a comfort in going into a familiar store, in an unfamiliar town anywhere and feeling at home, oriented and comfortable.

Fast forward to Summer 2009. I now live in Virginia, I shop at Wal-Mart, although not with the routine I once experienced, however, it is a comfort to me to go to a place where I know where every items is located. I do not browse when I shop. I am pointed and determined. It is somewhat like a strategic military mission for me now that I have such a huge family. I know what I need and I want to get to each item quickly, I want it to be in stock and I want to get the heck out of the store so I can get on with my life. Well, they messed up my Wal-Mart.

Over the past several months I had noticed they were remodeling the store. I thought it was getting a face lift and eventually everything would go back to it's rightful place. NO! I went shopping this weekend only to find a jumbled mess of items all in the wrong place. A shopping trip that should have taken me less than 45 minutes ended up a much longer and frustrating experience. Why would you put the pet food where the baby items should be?, housewares where the furniture should be, why are there potato chips on the wine shelf and wine on the potato chip shelf? Shoes? Shoes have always, in the entire history of Wal-Mart been in the back of the store. Where are they now? In the middle of the store! The do not belong in the middle of the store. Thank God they couldn't move Lawn and Garden or the electronics sections. So why did they spend all these dollars to move and remodel the store? It was working just fine! I think they may have spent entirely too much on the remodel because the selection was very short on supply. The old adage "stack it deep and sell it cheap?" not happening today. Prices have gone up, selection has gone down and the whole darn thing is messed up. We are in the middle of recession and Wal-Mart had to go and mess with my comfort zone. I guess my days of comfort at Wal-Mart are over. Once I get used to this new arrangement they will probably change it again. What about other stores, are they changing them all to this new layout or is it going to be a guessing game from here on out?

If you can't count on Wal-Mart for the same old thing, who can you count on for steadfast continuity?

The DMV and The CanadianTerrorits

2009-07-01T14:48:00.004-04:00

One of the birthday presents I received this year came from the Department of Motor Vehicles. My driver's license expired on my birthday. Now, usually an online renewal is possible but as I reached a decade point it was time for a brand spanking new quality photograph on my license. My birthday was on a Sunday so when Monday June 29th rolled around my license was expired. Perhaps because of my love of governmental offices, I was putting off the pleasure and joy of this experience and did not get myself down to the good ole' DMV until today, making my license two days expired. I took a quick look at the website and it appeared that as long as I had my license and another form of ID (like a voters registration card) it would all be good. OH how wrong I was.

The ladies and gentlemen (I use the term loosely) who are employed by the wonderful DMV are such a happy bunch, they welcome you with a smile and are eager to serve you (I say this with tongue planted firmly in cheek). As the first face void of smile asked me why I was there I handed her her my form and she highlighted the parts I needed to fill out and told me repeatedly to take a clip board. "Ma'am, take a clip board, take a clip board, take a clip board." I wanted to say, "I don't want a freaking germ infested clip board." Her unpleasant expression scared me a bit so I took the stupid thing (note to self, thank God I have Purell in my car).

So I sat on the hard, cold plastic chair next to the least frightening person who appeared as if he probably had a shower recently and might not try to talk to me. I filled out my required paper work and was waiting for my number to be called. The numbering system used at my local DMV defies all reason. It is government code and there is no way to track when you might be next. Each number is proceeded by a letter, mine today A-054. The pleasant computerized voice announces A-051. Now you might think, wow, I'm getting close - YOU WOULD THINK WRONG. It is all a trick. The next number called EE-778. What? EE-778? Next, N-34. What the heck is this bingo? Well finally my number is called. "A-054 please go to window number 7, A-054 please go to window number 7. I hand my paperwork to another smiling DMV worker. Without a smile, without a greeting this urchin says "Do you have a birth certificate or passport?" "um, no." I respond. "Well your driver's license is expired and I need a birth certificate or passport," she says. I respond, "I checked the website and my voter's registration card is listed as a secondary identification and it is right there." I say pointing at the card. "That won't work." says Mrs. Happy DMV worker.

If you can imagine I am not very happy about this turn of events. I am trying to remain mature, calm and collected. Really all I need is to renew my driver's license, not the third degree. So I calmly ask "are there any other documents that you would accept in lieu of the passport or birth certificate?" I of course did not have either with me at this moment. Here is where it gets maddening. "Well," the blond 20 something overpaid government worker says, "If you were really a citizen of the United States you would have one of those two documents."

Okay, seriously? For those who know me I could not look for ethnically American. Put a cowboy had on my head and throw me on a horse and put me in Dallas kind of American Girl. This woman was insinuating that I was trying to pull something over on the American people by getting false documentation, after all if I were a real American, I would apparently carry my birth certificate and passport around me with to prove it. Giving this some consideration she must have just gotten out of a workshop on Canadian Terrorists sneaking into rural DMV offices attempting to get driver's licenses so they can plot against America. I really could only pass as a Canadian.

I know how useless it is to argue with a government employee so I simply smiled at Mrs. Got A Little Power and I'm going to Exercise It, and said "Well then, I suppose I will be driving illegally for a while, have a good day."

Who the heck knows where my birth certificate is. I went on line to order one. I guess I will also go down and get a passport soon as well, because after all if I were really a US citizen I would have these documents on my person at all times.

These anti terrorist, anti immigration laws have gotten out of hand. An illegal immigrant can drag their half dead body across the border and get free medical treatment in any hospital but I can't get my driver's license renewed for fear I might not be a citizen.

I do admit I should have renewed my driver's license before it expired. t I am a working American, I know it is a dying breed. There are not many of us out there and we are trying our hardest to keep this country afloat with our tax dollars. I have to work, to pay taxes, to support the millions of Americans who can't or won't work right now. So forgive my tardiness in renewing my government required driver's license. I was very busy earning my paycheck of which I get keep a full 60-percent.

2009-06-29T12:48:00.002-04:00

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Ruminations on turning 40

2009-06-24T20:10:00.003-04:00

On Sunday June 28th 2009 Laura Lee Wright Bradley turns 40-years-old. Not since the approach of my 21st birthday have I thought so much about a number, an age. I assumed I would take this changing of age in stride but considering the fact that I freaked out and nearly lost my mind when my oldest child graduated high school this year I am fearful of the tear filled frenzy that awaits me on this day.

To be honest I have been preparing my mind for this event. I don't remember being 38 or 39 because I kept telling people I was 40. I wanted to gauge their reaction, get used to the number, and get the compliments, "Wow, you don't look 40." I ate it up like my cat eats her morning morsels of Nine Lives. Of course I should have been telling myself, "of course you don't look 40, your not!" For the past three months I have been holding on to 39 with all my might. I am 39, NOT 40. I'm in my 30's damit!

Why is this such a big deal you ask? YOU KNOW! This is what floors me about this comment. All of you know why this is a big deal. As women age we become less valuable in western society. Oh you can disagree, and you will but deep down in your soul you know I am speaking the truth.

So one of my beautiful and older female relatives recently told me that I should embrace 40, I have earned it. REALLY! Have I earned the stray eye brow hair that have taken residence on my chin? Have I earned the pain in my back? Have I earned the grey hair that is secretly sneaking into my well kept albeit dyed blonde tresses? Have I earned what gravity - wicked gravity has done to my body? (Thank you sweet Jesus and the great garment engineers who invented push up bras! Trust me girls, those assets you so proudly display will some day become your enemy!) Yeah right, just like the stretch marks left by each pregnancy were "earned."

My other concern is the way I act. I can say with all honesty that I was more mature acting when I was 25-years-old than I am today. Maybe that is one good thing about getting a few years under your belt, I really don't give a crap about my presumed maturity level.

I had hoped to be a bit father along in my life professionally by the time I reached this point. I had great expectations for my life as a career woman but then I had to go and have four children who put a screeching halt to my professional advancement. I suppose a big title and bank account can't hug you and give you kisses so I suppose I will let the kids off the hook.

I read an article way back in the 1980's that gave the statistic that a woman in America was more likely to be killed by a terrorist than to find true love and marry after the age of 40. What does that say about the appeal of 40?

I will say I am going to fight this monster every step of the way. I can't not turn 40 but I can continue the good fight and try never to look 40.

I can't help it, 40 sounds old. It is freaking me out and that is my random thought of the day. Now I will pour another glass of wine and begin to wrap my head around this turning of a page.

Home Health Care

2009-06-22T21:23:00.002-04:00

Home Health Care. This was a term I assumed was reserved for the gravely ill and the gravely old, but I was wrong. I had an introduction to home health care this evening but before I go into much detail let us ruminate on this "home health care" for a moment. Correct me if I am wrong but do we not live in a society which has forced warning on the side of coffee cups that the contents of the cup is hot? Do irons not come with very plain instructions that it is not to be used on clothes while you are wearing them? However, health care Americana trusts us with our own IV's and other sharp objects complete with medications that could possibly kill us if used incorrectly. I'm sorry if I don't understand how we are too stupid to realize that coffee is hot and one should not iron on one's body, but we can comprehend do it yourself medical procedures.

My husband has a serious sinus infection which has been a wall against normal antibiotics so our last line of defense before surgery is IV antibiotics for ten days to be administered at home. The whole idea freaked me out, Nurse Happy Pants I am not. In my house and you are over the age of 12 and you are sick you are basically on your own and don't throw up anywhere but in the bathroom. Thank God my sister lives with us and she was in veterinary medicine for her career because dog doctoring is the best you are going to get in this environment.

Enter the home heath nurse. We will call her Patty to protect the innocent from my sarcasm. Patty said she has been a nurse since 1986 but Patty took many years off to raise a family and seemed a bit shaky to me not to mention that she was ADHD and easily distracted. This was not a good combination for my husband who has never had a health concern in his life and this was his first IV line in 42 years of living on the planet. For those who don't know my hubby was a weightlifter and he is pretty muscled up. I don't know if his size scared her but when she couldn't get the vein the first time, she trembled through the second but did finally find the vein and began the IV. She read the directions on all the packages before opening and that scared me a bit - had she done this before? Nurse Patty was a very nice lady and we had the chance to spend three and a half hours with her but let me tell you, if my sister didn't know about dog doctoring, I would be a bit worried regarding how I was going to take care of this IV situation as I didn't understand one bit of her distracted (oh look a moth) explanation. I did take some sick satisfaction as she dug around in my husbands hand for a vein as he winched. Listen, this is the man who fathered my children and the last one required an amniocentesis and if you don't know that is where they push a three foot long half inch wide needle into your stomach to fetch some amniotic fluid while you are pregnant. Yea, so a little digging in the vein makes me feel a little bit better.

I am sure there will more to this saga, as the event will be going on for ten days with several more visits from home health nurses, the next one I hear is from South America, I wonder if she is in the market for some English US Rosetta Stone?

Father's Day

2009-06-21T11:13:00.002-04:00

Sometimes I turn on TV Land and watch those old shows from the 50's and 60's, you know the ones, "Father Knows Best", Leave it to Beaver" type shows. Even into the 1970's we painted pictures of a Father who had all the answers, threw the ball around with the boys, worked hard, made money and read the newspaper. A flawless father who never raised his voice, lost his temper, lost his job or felt less than a man. I know as little girl in the early 1980's I wanted Michael Landon to be my "Pa".

Like the hoax that has for years been forced upon American women, men too, have been sold a bill of goods. There is no perfect Father who knows all the answers and never loses his temper or his job. There is no Daddy who is perfect out there and I would like to raise a glass to those who at least try.

What I find quite concerning in the media of today is the the swing from "Father Knows Best" to "Father Knows Nothing and is an Idiot." Somewhere between an all knowing Daddy and a giant child lies the Father of today. Today's father is a man who was probably spoiled by his parents, who 50-percent of the time were divorced. A man who had few role models and many opportunities to do the wrong thing. In the economic situation we currently face there are many many fathers out there today who don't have a job or whose income has dropped significantly. These fathers are forced to face the fact that they are just human beings on a journey that will end in lessons learned and tasks undone.

Unfortunately our society has also created many fathers who haven't manned up to their responsibilities as well. I don't know if we can put those males into the category of father at all. The best influence over a man is that of other men. I have long said it is up to the men in our society to force one another to strive for excellence and do the right things when it comes to their wives, their children and their community.

Today we honor our Daddies, of which I know many good ones. Here is to you men, you are the rock that can make the difference not only in your child today but who your children will become. Use each moment as a teaching one but the most important thing you can do is love your children. They are not going to remember what toy they didn't get, they will always remember the love they DID.

The Changing of seasons

2009-06-14T19:37:00.003-04:00

In 1990 is was not quite so acceptable to be a single mom. That was the year I found myself expecting my first child. If I had been married and in a secure job and or relationship maybe I wouldn't have this story to tell, but I wasn't and now I do.

For those young girls out there who are making babies with every young stud who comes your way and no one is looking at you with pity or disgust, I suppose you can thank women like me who blazed the trail for you but I am not sure it is something you should be thanking us for.

This week has been a very emotionally trying week for me. I have faced a changing of the seasons. My 18-year-old daughter graduated high school. A right of passage to be celebrated but wow did it throw me into a tail spin I did not expect.

When I was barely a senior in college, when I had my future by the short hairs and I was well on my way to some sort of success, I found another kind of success I had not in a million years anticipated. It was over Thanksgiving break 1990 I found out I was expecting a child. I suppose I could have run to an abortion clinic. I am not an anti abortion person, but for me it did not seem to be the right choice. I felt a need, a desire, a responsibility to have my baby and I did. In June of 1991, about a month after I received my B.S. degree in Journalism, I became a mother and Maryellen Katherine came into the world. Maryellen Katherine was my light, my purpose, she grounded me in a way I never thought possible. From the day she was born onward, every decision I made, every step I took, every dollar I made was not without her best interest in mind. She was solely my responsibility. I think I was a good Mother at the tender age of 22. I put her needs and interests before my own and I am not the least bit sorry for it. I made mistakes there is not doubt, but she turned out to be the most awesome young woman.

What has sent me into may tailspin of this week is her graduating from High School. It is not that my job as a parent is done. I have her plus her three younger brothers. However, she is an adult now, my decisions no longer are about her and her alone. I can only pray I have given her enough of a foundation that she can make her own decisions. I never put this in the plan. I never thought about when she grew up. I only knew that each day I had to take care of her because she was my responsibility and my baby girl.

I am entering a new season of my life. Yes, I am still a mother and I still have young children, but nothing is like your first born. My first born is my precious gift and I have to give her to the world now. I hope the world is ready and willing to give her the love and understanding she needs and deserves. I pray the world is ready to give her Mom the love and understanding she needs as well.

Seasons of life change and all we can do is hope that we have made enough of the correct decisions that the next generation is a little bit better off mentally and emotionally than we were!

maybe it was a screw up or not?

2009-06-04T20:23:00.003-04:00

Okay, since this blog has turned into my saga of quitting smoking I will have to come clean and say I took four quick drags off a cigarette I stole from my sister. I didn't like it much and the taste was rather nasty. I am not over this addiction but the taste was rather horrible and maybe I will remember that. It has been a difficult couple of days. I have been so edgy and then of course one of my kids pushed me a bit too far with their laziness. The good news is I didn't smoke a whole cigarette and I didn't like the taste. God I am so weak to this demon! I am writing about what I did and I will post it so that I cannot deny it.

Can I just say I am a disaster! I have always been a disaster but I have been fairly good at keeping it under wraps but this withdrawal from addiction seems to bring out my crazy front and center. I apologize to everyone who has to deal with it. I am so damned crazy. Maybe some day I will be able deal with all the insanity which in turn will help those around me. I would like to take all these thoughts and turn them into some coherent writings but for tonight they will again be ramblings of a wine soaked mind. God Bless all my friends who have tolerated me all these years - YOU ROCK.

The Saga of Addiction

2009-06-03T12:36:00.005-04:00

Addiction is a common problem. If you really think about it you will realize you have many of your own addictions, things that may or may not be good for you but they are things and actions that rule your life much more than your own common sense. These are things you are willing to take risks to have or to do. Many addictions are quiet and hidden and therefore much less evident to your friends, family and co-workers. Other addictions are the kind that are out there in front, showing everyone your weakness and broadcasting your failures to an audience willing to welcome your shortcoming so they do not have to face their own.

I have many addictions, but my most outward, obvious one was and is nicotine, delivered to me via a cigarette. It has been 19 days since I have fed the demon via a cancer stick, although to say I have been nicotine free would be a stretch. There are many nicotine replacements on the market today and I am taking advantage on a small scale of one of those products. I have chosen Commit Lozenge. It seems to help, even though at first they are rather hard to get used to.

It seems so strange to me that nearly 3-weeks into my quit, I am struggling with the desire to smoke much more strongly than I did in the first few days. I am a bit unique in that I did put the smokes down because of a serious lung infection which would not allow me to smoke at all. In my illness, my focus was on recovery more than addiction. Now I am nearly fully recovered and the addiction is taking center stage.

I keep in my mind the picture of a 60-year-old woman in a wheel chair hooked up to oxygen but still sucking on a cigarette. I do not want to be that person and the facts point to the possibility if I were to continue to smoke for the next 20-years.

The fact that I ever began this habit in the first place is amazing. I did not pick up a cigarette from one of my parents (both who were smoking machines). I did not succumb to peer pressure as a young teenager. No, I began smoking at the age of 20. I should have been old enough to know better, but still, when one is in their early 20's it is a self belief of invulnerability that rules the mind. When I was 20 years old, the idea of being a 40 year old mother of four children would have made me laugh, yet here I am.

I do not know what tomorrow will bring. I do know that for the remainder of today, I am not going to smoke. The insanity of the addiction is that I am cranky without my friends, my smokes. Like a woman who won't leave that man who is no good for her, I had a very hard time leaving my cigarettes. I found an old half smoked pack in my car the other day. I felt very empowered when I threw them in the trash without a second thought. I felt strong, empowered, in control. Today, I felt on the edge, barely able to say no, but I did and each day it will surely get easier.

Can I tell you a funny, almost sick fact about this determination? I have an old boss who I very much resent and do not like. This previous boss, a twisted, woman with very little education and a power freak tendency also sufferers from the addiction to nicotine. I think about how rewarding it will be when I see her again and I am able to say "oh, yea, I quit smoking six months ago." To know that I held fast and had the power to overcome something that holds her so tightly keeps me in my smokebriety. It is a sick twisted thing and possibly shows how resentful I can be. Bear in mind this is a woman who tried her best to belittle me because she was threatened by me and I took her immature behavior for the sake of an income for my family. It is going to feel so good to show her exactly how strong I am. I suspect she already knows, but I want to really rub it in. Now you can see my extreme humanity!

If this is the one thing that keeps me smoke free, I guess I will take it and deal with insanity of my inspiration later.

Slaying the dragon

2009-05-19T13:27:00.002-04:00

20 years ago I made the ill informed decision to try smoking a cigarette. Of course, I have a very addictive nature and I was hooked shortly there after. I was 20 then, I'm facing 40 now.

I remember growing up with smokers thinking I would never want to smoke. In high school I never considered lighting up a cigarette. It was college and the pressures of peers on that level in which I made the decision that would impact so many years of my life.

This flu season I came down with possibly the worst case of flu I personally have ever experienced. It got to a point where I couldn't inhale a cigarette and it really made me mad until a light came on in my little blonde head. If I couldn't inhale the darn things why try.

I am four days into living without cigarettes in my life. I have no idea if it will last forever but I do know it will last for the rest of today. My body is attempting to recover not only from the flu, but from 20 years of toxic chemicals being sucked into my lungs nearly hourly. My cough is more horrible than ever and my sinuses are a mess. This is all part of the process according to the abundant information available on the web. Maybe next week I will feel well. I do know this, if I continue to smoke, the horrible feeling of helplessness I had while I was sick with a lung infection will be a daily walk and I do not want to experience that.

Wish me well in my journey. I'm sure I will find some humor in all this quitting soon enough but for now, I'm just making it as best I can hour by hour and day by day. I pray for a deep breath that doesn't hurt, and a nose that will quit running.

To Love And Only Love..

2009-04-12T10:34:00.003-04:00

There are times when I write to amuse other people and then there are times when I use writing as a way to release inner thoughts that seem to become trapped in the labyrinth of my mind. I have often thought I was one of those individuals who thought entirely too much about everything.

Today I am probably over thinking faith, relationships, friendships, destiny and purpose. This blog will not be funny or amusing and trite in it's message. It may well be lost on anyone who reads it. I promise I will go back to funny and amusing soon enough.

What is purpose? What gives purpose? Are we all missing the proverbial boat by being consumed by the daily operations of existence? Here is where so much of my frustration comes in. I want to enjoy each moment but I am so busy trying to tend to the administrative tasks of life that I am missing life itself. Do you ever feel it?

One of the interesting things about social websites is they give you the ability to reconnect with friends and foes of the past. The down side to all this reconnection is you can also look back and see the greatness of life that passed you by as you were taking care of the administrative tasks of life.

I have recently realized that existence is based on relationships with other people. Life is not and cannot be quantified by dollars or possessions. For many years I reached for possessions, I reach for prestige and I defined myself by success or criticized myself and others for the lack of these elements.

Much of the bounty from the years of work was stripped away in a day this fall when the stock market gobbled up the dollars and life became from that point forward a fight to the finish. The comfort I so hardily worked for was washed away in a tidal wave of economic panic.

It is only now that I begin to realize that my richness of character is formed in the most trying of times. It is only now I realize that strength is earned and peace is a gift. Searching for peace within myself has become my goal and with that I find a simple pleasure in existing. It is through this time of adaptation I have found friends both new and old are constant sources of energy, inspiration and light. It is now I find myself being comfortable in my own skin and have stopped trying to be what I am not. Do not misunderstand this, I will always strive to be better because I am better than what I am today. The minute I think the potential has been tapped will be the day I stop living life and go back to surviving life.

Each and every person is connected in some way to others. I do not believe a human being can survive in an isolated environment for very long. However, the frightening fact is I had placed myself in a bubble of safety for many years. I closed the door and windows to the outside world and now that I opened the shudders the world outside my immediate door is so wondrous and attractive that I want to experience it all.

To define myself as simply a wife or a mother or a worker is shortchanging my soul. Each of us is an individual soul created by God to experience, feel, love and touch. Those experiences cannot happen without the help of one another. We simply must encourage greatness in those who are next to us. We must not be scared to hold the hand of another. We must stop passing judgment on those who do not share our dogma or see the world in a different way.

If we can learn to learn from one another, be inspired by one another and fill our senses with other human beings I know we will have begun to experience this journey the way our Creator intended. It is not through hard and fast societal rules and commands of control that we find safety. It is through the simple act of loving one another that we find happiness. Once happiness is the emotion in the soul, the soul will begin to fill with it's original purpose which undoubtedly is to love and only love.

Size doesn't matter, it is how you present the package

2009-03-29T12:50:00.002-04:00

As the weather begins to warm and trees bud we know with certainty that summer is on the way. There would be no more fitting time to address the issue of size. The size I am talking about is the size of your clothes. Let's face it America's waist lines have grown by epic proportions over the past twenty years. We all know it is our convenience society and processed food, but that not withstanding it is time to really think about how you are dressing your body.

I made my early Sunday morning run to Wal-Mart today when I saw her. You know her, it doesn't matter if you are in California, Missouri or New York City. Everyone knows Sally McSqeeze a lot Sausage Girl. This is the woman or girl who buys her clothes based on the size on the tag on the inside that no one can see. What we do see, well it isn't what we want to see. My Sally of today was dressed in black. Black is a nice slimming color, I wear it often. She, however was wearing pants at least two sizes too small causing a nice sausage appearance in her mid section. She had her breasts pushed up and nearly out of her much too tight black top. The worst part was the pants had very narrow legs which were accented by very high healed shoes. Sally McSqeeze looked as if she might topple right over. I am going to give her extra credit for confidence but an F for tolerable fashion.

I am a child of the 1980's, I have made my fair share of fashion mistakes, oversized sweatshirts, jelly shoes, bows and ribbons, lace to name a few. I am not immune to the fashion mistake. It is out of concern really that I write this blog because summer is on it's way and all the Sally McSqeeze a lots are going to be wearing less and harnessing more.

I have never understood the woman who announces to the world the size of her pants. "I wear a size six." To which I have always wanted to respond, "really?, which leg?" I know it seems cruel, it isn't. I have never been one of the long and lean girls. I know the fashion dilemma faced by a body that doesn't seem to fit the days fashion. After four children and 30 years of battling weight gain I have come to the conclusion I will never wear a halter top or two piece swim suit and that is okay.

I offer this advice, girls, unless you really do have legs that go from here to tomorrow, please don't buy and wear short shorts two sizes too small. Frankly I don't think it matters what size you are, don't buy and wear "booty shorts" unless you are a professional streetwalker or wearing them in the privacy of your own home. Almost everyone has a little cellulite and frankly we have enough and don't want to see yours.

I could go on and on about tank tops, halters, low cut dresses, short skirts - the whole gamut of sexy clothing that is the norm in America today. Sexy dressing is good, no it is great. When you dress sexy it makes you feel like a million dollars. The one thing you need to take into consideration is what is sexy on one person who actually is a size six and what is sexy on another who is actually a size 16 are often two very different things.

Don't be a Sally McSqeeze alot Sausage girl. Be who you are and be beautiful for who you are, not who you think you should be. Some of the best fashion ideas I have ever gotten are from African American women who are 40+. I am not a big lover of the manicured nails that seem popular with this group but other than that, they take fashion and accessorizing to a whole new level. I love the hats and the jewelry and how they can coordinate everything so well. Where ever you get your inspiration please don't let it be from the Sally McSqueeze a lots.

Olympia Gold and Lemon Drops

2009-03-21T17:59:00.002-04:00

As I was driving through town today a childhood memory came back to me and made me laugh at the insanity of it. By sharing it on my blog perhaps I will make you laugh but more likely I will make you understand why I am the way I am a little bit more.

I sat in traffic with my daughter and niece on our way to one of those fancy stores that sells prom and wedding dresses. My oldest is now 17 and we are getting ready for the all so important senior prom. We were off to find a dress.

So I sat at a red light and reached down to pick up my can of diet Pepsi to take a drink and the can itself sparked the memory. When I was a child there was never a time that my parents were not drinking from a can while they negotiated Mesa Arizona traffic. Mom's drink of choice was Olympia Gold, which if you don't know, was a popular beer in the 1970's. My father's choice, the trademark red and white can of Budweiser. My memories of being about eight years old sitting in the backseat of my Mom's Cadillac came flooding back. It was Arizona and it was hot but I don't remember air conditioning in cars then so we rode with all the windows down. Mom's bleach blond hair would be whipping in the wind in front of me and she would have that long More cigarette lit and that gold can of Olympia Gold in between her legs as she drove. Once in while she would flick her ashes out the open window and they would inevitably blow right in my window and into my eye. I would always say, "Mom, your ash flew in my eye again." to which my Mother would reply, "Oh, you will be alright, here have a lemon drop." A lemon drop would be handed to me and I would put in my mouth and everything was okay.

Thus began my belief that in life lemon drops could make everything okay. I think my mother must of had quite a store of lemon drops in the car because it didn't matter what the problem was the answer was always a lemon drop. On long car rides if you complained about being hungry you got a lemon drop. If you had to go to the bathroom - another lemon drop came your way. Maybe your brother smacked you in the head, whoop, here came the lemon drop.

I did try the lemon drop trick on a family vacation once, it did work to a certain extent but there was no Olympia Gold so I think the real magic just didn't happen. Considering I wasn't half baked in my own intoxication I could still hear the complaints and pleas from disgruntled children. I gave up on the lemon drops to solved all of the issues of the car because the alternative of trying the mix just doesn't seem like a prudent choice and I don't like beer anyway.

This my no means should suggest that I think drinking and driving is okay. It was wrong but no sense in judging the dead and since both my parents are gone it is not only safe to tell this story and is necessary to look back at it with humor not horror.

I don't want to go to your kids birthday party

2009-03-15T08:04:00.002-04:00

Every week at my house there are invitations to birthday parties for kids I have never seen or met. By virtue of sharing a class with one of my sons, we have the pleasure of being invited to many many parties.

When I was a kid a birthday was somewhat of a special day of celebration within our family. If we were lucky maybe a Grandparent would come. After a normal family dinner, Mom would break out the birthday cake she made that day - in our oven. Mom and Dad would give us a couple of gifts and we would all sing happy birthday. That was it, finished, birthday done. None of us ended up on the therapist couch because of it.

Fast forward 20 years and here we are as parents. The celebration of the birth of our child now has to include everyone who has ever come in contact with Little Johnny. We begin to budget for the blow out at the local skating rink, bowling alley, speciality party spot, movies, or in some cases party hall, months ahead of time. Pre-printed invitations are made, cakes equivalent to wedding confections are ordered and it looks like Christmas morning at the gift table. In the infamous shortened phrases of our teenagers -- WTF.

This may sound harsh, but if I have never met you I don't want to come to Peggy Ann's 9th birthday party at the Partyrama Playground of Fantasy for Little Girls. It is Saturday afternoon and I have four children, loads of laundry, grocery shopping and a house to clean. I cannot and frankly will not stop in the middle to deliver one of my children to your extravaganza. It isn't that I'm harsh but I'm a realist. If I were to allow my boys to attend every party to which they were invited I would spend more time in the toy isle at Target than any other place during the week attempting to pick out a gift for a child I have never met, then running all over town to deliver said children to whatever great play place you have rented for this celebration.

Seriously folks, I'm glad you have kids, I am glad you love your kids but is throwing over the top parties for kids you have never met really going to my Little Johnny feel more loved? Could this whole birthday party thing be a symptom of what is wrong with our generation and how this economic train got off the tracks? I hate to bring politics into sweet children's parties but the reality of our need to show the world how successful we are by vicarious displays through our children's social network is appalling.

Am I the only "mean" Mommy left in the world. An island on to myself, I am not attempting to live through my children but live for raising my children. At times I think I am the only parent who realizes that these little people are going to be adults some day and it is my job to make them face the harshness of what is real. In the real world, things do not stop at the exact moment of your birth so the entire world can play homage to you. Seriously, most people don't care it is your birthday when you grow up.

I'm not saying I don't celebrate my kids birthdays, or that I don't ever have parties for them but I believe less is more and milestones are worth a nod. I never invite the whole class from school and we don't rent out halls for celebrations.

Lets stop renting ponies and bounce arounds. How about a family meal with your kids to talk about their day, movie night, game night or a special day out at the park. These things, when done for no reason at all are bound to have more of an impact that super party extravaganza. Of course I suppose all the super Mom's out there are already doing all that as well. I guess I'm just too much of a realist for all this Super Momdom. The bottom line is, I don't want to go to your kids birthday party and I'm probably not going to. If you don't know my name, chances are, my kids are going to skip the grand celebration you have planned to make yourself feel better for barely knowing your kids name.

2009-03-05T20:32:00.002-05:00

The sun was shining today for the first time all week and the temperatures had finally risen to above permafrost so it seemed like a wonderful day to take a stroll in downtown Harrisonburg for lunch. Being that I had had a minimal breakfast I was hungry and looking forward to a nice meal outside the office. After all, I usually eat at my desk.

I took a walk down Water Street and came upon an old diner called The Water Street Cafe. As I was alone on lunch today it looked like a perfect place to eat solo while reading the paper. I pushed open the old wood and glass door and I knew I should probably turn and go. It was 12:30 and for a downtown luncheon spot the customers were sparse. As a matter of fact it appeared as if there was only one other diner and the restaurant had the strange aroma of grease and oldness. Old people, old building or just old, I'm not sure. I was however, committed, I had been spotted.

I took a seat facing the door as not to make eye contact with the one other diner and was quickly greeted by the 65-year-old waitress who immediately wanted to know if I wanted breakfast or dinner. A quick look at my watch revealed that it was in fact 12:30 which by my calculations meant lunch time but I answered dinner, as it seemed appropriate. She brought me the "Thursday dinner menu" and I knew I had made a wrong turn. Four entrees were featured. Country Ham, Three piece chicken (which I suspect consisted of a wing, a thigh and a drum stick.), turkey or chopped steak with mushroom gravy. None of this appealed to me but as I have said, I was committed. Chopped steak - well that is just really hamburger so how can you mess that up right? I like mushroom gravy, or so I thought. So I ordered.It was about three minutes later that the lone patron of the restaurant spoke to me from across the room. The man, rather rumpled, about 60 years old wearing what appeared to be weathered and perhaps somewhat unlaundered clothes asked me if I worked at the jewelry store. I replied that I did not and turned my attention elsewhere, anywhere else. The conversation about how I looked like the girl from the jewelry store continued from across the room until Mr. Rumpled came to the table and asked if he could sit and talk for a minute. "You are such a pretty lady and I sure would like to talk with you for a few minutes." I thought to myself, "Laura, God puts people in front of you in many different ways, it would not hurt you to talk to this man."I obliged him. As he sat near me I realized my intuition about the unwashed clothing was correct from the smell and I just kept smiling hoping to find some wisdom in what this man was saying to me. The one way conversation with him talking and me smiling went on for what seemed like an eternity. We or more aptly he, covered King Solomon, The Mormon Church, polygamy, pretty young college girls, how he came to be homeless and move into the salvation army, his 9th grade education and my obvious virtue. Now, bear in mind my virtue is not obvious but he said it was.

My food finally arrived and when the round hamburger patty covered in a white jelly like goo was placed in front of me I realized there was no way out of this very bad decision. One bite was all I could eat as the musty old man continued to talk about pretty women and homelessness. Finally my lunch hour was over. My appetite not satisfied and no words of wisdom found in the creepy old man. I let him leave the restaurant before I took my own leave as I did not want to walk down Water Street with him making strange one sided conversation in my effort not to be rude.

As I paid my bill the waitress said "well honey, you didn't eat a thing, do you want me to wrap that up for you?" To which I replied, "No, I wasn't as hungry as I thought and I'm out of time." Tomorrow I think I will pack a sandwich and eat at the table outside the office, so as not to risk an inedible lunch with a homeless man again.

Washington has got to be kidding!

2009-01-23T17:06:00.002-05:00

Whoa Nellie! The uber liberals are in heaven since Obama stepped into office on Tuesday and the ideas floating around about this so called stimulus are unworkable, insane and must be a joke.

First of all, lets take a look at who might be getting some cash from the government. There is an idea floating around Washington that if we send out more stimulus checks they should only go to unskilled and minority workers. WHAT! how is this going to help? Our government is actually giving thought to the idea of paying people for being unskilled or sending out a check because of the color of one's skin? So, we take the skilled worker, you know, the one who actually learned a trade, went to school or in some other way took what America offers and bettered themselves and tell them - "sorry you lost your job Joe, but we can't help you." Seriously? This has to be a joke. This is gonna ruffle some feathers, but do we want to get into the businesses of funding drug dealers and the video game industry? I mean if you have been sitting around in this Land of Opportunity and you are still unskilled then seriously your life most likely consists of drugs and video games. That is fine, if you chose it, but I don't want to fund it.

Another idea is a tax cut. The conservative in me says - good, good, tax cuts are good. Cutting taxes from 10% to 5% on the low wage earners will do nothing! Let's say you make 16 grand a year and pay 1600 of that in taxes. Mr. Government cuts that in half for you. Now you are going to have an extra 8 hundred bucks over a year to stimulate the economy. The Dems thought the stimulus checks of last year were a bust, give this one a try. Wow, now they can afford an extra Slurpee at the 7-11 once a week.

A bold problem calls for bold action. It is time for The Fair Tax. The Fair Tax is a consumption tax, in other words a sales tax on a national level. Talk about stimulate the economy. Ask yourself this, would you spend more money if you didn't pay payroll taxes? Of course you would. You would pay taxes on the goods you bought with your money then the government would get their share but the consumers would be in control. SCARY for the government but it would quickly fix the problem. People would have more, spend more and the economy would improve. Maybe some of these stores could stay in business if we had the dollars to spend in them.

Folks, if you don't pull your head out of your rear end this is going to get bad, really really bad. Do yourself a favor and go to www.fairtax.org. Don't let these fools in Washington run us into a ditch that our kids and grand kids will still be in 40 years from now.

Take A Nap Every Afternoon

2009-01-17T13:12:00.002-05:00

One of the first great books I read as a "real" adult was Robert Fulghum's All I Ever Really Need To Know I Learned in Kindergarten. This one book had a great effect on me and to this day I think about that simple list and as I get older it seems to hold more wisdom.

In today's blog I just wanted to share it with you. Many of my friends and even my own husband do not understand my love of the afternoon nap, but Mr. Fulghum understands.

Just today I began the day taking my eight year old to basketball practice at 9 a.m. It was -3 degrees and I really didn't want to go. Once home, I finished cleaning the kitchen I had asked my 17-year-old to do. I made beds and chased kids. I made 24 cupcakes for snack later on, fed seven children under the age of 11 lunch and cleaned that up. Sat for five minutes to eat my lunch, frosted the 24 cupcakes. I then cleaned the kitchen again. I swept up the cat litter the three cats had tossed out of their box, fed the cats and picked up various pieces of paper and socks and toys off the floor. It is about 1:30 in the afternoon and I want to take a nap. Who can't understand that? The children are fed and fairly quiet, my 17-year-old is doing little to nothing so she can take care of any needs her brothers may have.

This isn't my funniest blog, or my most creative entry. Is is my outlet today. Halfway through the day and I'm exhausted so I will take the advice of my dear Mr. Fulghum and take my afternoon nap.

All I really need to know about how to live and what to do and how to be I learned in kindergarten. Wisdom was not at the top of the graduate school mountain, but there in the sand pile at school.These are the things I learned:

Share everything.
Play fair.
Don't hit people.
Put things back where you found them.
Clean up your own mess.
Don't take things that aren't yours.
Say you're sorry when you hurt somebody.
Wash your hands before you eat.
Flush.
Warm cookies and cold milk are good for you.
Live a balanced life - learn some and think some and draw and paint and sing and dance and play and work every day some.
Take a nap every afternoon.
When you go out in the world, watch out for traffic, hold hands and stick together.
Be aware of wonder. Remember the little seed in the Styrofoam cup: the roots go down and the plant goes up and nobody really knows how or why, but we are all like that.
Goldfish and hamsters and white mice and even the little seed in the Styrofoam cup - they all die. So do we.
And then remember the Dick-and-Jane books and the first word you learned - the biggest word of all - LOOK.

Everything you need to know is in there somewhere. The Golden Rule and love and basic sanitation. Ecology and politics and equality and sane living.
Take any one of those items and extrapolate it into sophisticated adult terms and apply it to your family life or your work or government or your world and it holds true and clear and firm. Think what a better world it would be if we all - the whole world - had cookies and milk at about 3 o'clock in the afternoon and then lay down with our blankies for a nap. Or if all governments had as a basic policy to always put things back where they found them and to clean up their own mess.

Robert Fulghum

Get those lights down - Christmas is over!

2009-01-16T10:39:00.002-05:00

It is officially mid January and if you still have your Christmas tree up, you are either on your deathbed or just plain lazy. Take the darn tree and decorations down already!

On Tuesday a short distance from where I live, history will be made. Barrack Obama will be sworn in as the 44th President of our United States of America. Although I am a lifelong GOPer, the thrill of this moment is not lost on me and I am as excited as a Prius driving, mulch making, pot smoking lesbian. (Not that there is anything wrong with that.)

The fact that President Obama is our first black president is awesome, however, I think more outstanding is the fact that four years ago, no one outside of Illinois knew who the heck he was. What I find truly inspiring is the fact that this man decided he wanted to be President and wham, four years later he was. It proves to me once again that America is the greatest country in the world.

On the flip side, what a horrible time to become President, and the bar is set very high for this man. Our hopes for a viable future rest on his shoulders. Expectations for this man are higher than any President in our history sans maybe George Washington.

As I do everyday, I was watching Fox News this morning. I know it may be hard to believe but they were interviewing some over-blown, fat white Republican politician. The kind who doesn't know how much milk actually costs, has never done a load of laundry and thinks everyone has at least one housekeeper. (Remember, I can say these things, I am a Republican. Just like I can say my brother is ugly, but you better not!) Anyway, he was giving the TV viewing audience a lot of bravado about how the new stimulus package is just wasteful spending and how the rebates for the American people won't work. I found it hilarious when he started talking about how the Republicans were going to come up with a plan that included across the board tax cuts for business owners and taxpayers. His whole mantra was about getting the money into the hands of the people so they can create jobs and spend us out of the recession. Although those ideas are great, I was laughing because of the bravado. HELLO - GOPers in congress, you don't have the votes to do anything. He said something about the minority in congress + the American people = a majority. Is that new math? The American people voted for the Democrats this time around so I don't think they are on your side Republicans.

I'm just an average American and I don't know the answer to what ails this economy, but I do know my Republican friends up in Washington better get a grip. They are so used to running the show. Looks like we better be serving some humble pie in those swank DC restaurants they all frequent at lunch time.

New Year, New Chance?

2009-01-01T10:17:00.003-05:00

As I watched the ball drop in Times Square last night, on TV of course, I thought about what 2009 might bring. The world seems so happy and jubilant to let go of the past year and ring in the new one. It is as if all the problems associated with 2008 will be wiped away and we won't have an economic crisis as we usher in 2009. The fact is we are still in the middle of one of the worst economic downturns our great country has ever seen and dropping balls and balloons will not wipe that away.

I do enter 2009 in an optimistic frame of mind. Frankly, our family was hit hard, but not as hard as others. If I were to make a resolution for 2009 it would be to learn from the lessons of 2008. I am not a big one for making resolutions so what I am going to do instead is make some promises to myself. I promise to work harder and smarter in 2009. I know at some point this year I will begin a brand new career and I will not the the mistakes of my past shadow the success of my future. I vow to myself to be humble and worthy of trust. I promise to myself that I will learn learn learn. I also make a commitment to myself and my family to eat healthier food, spend more time in the pursuit of exercise and over all take care of myself.

Although the problems of 2008 and didn't not evaporate with the dropping of a crystal ball in Times Square or a peach in Georgia or whatever else was dropped from the sky last night to bring in the new year, we can learn from the mistakes of 2008 and help make 2009 a rebuilding year for our families and our country.

The Aftermath of Christmas

2008-12-26T11:49:00.002-05:00

Christmas is messy business. At least for Mom it is. As I surveyed yesterday's damage to my carefully cleaned home I tried to not let the overwhelming feeling of dread fill my soul. I started in one spot and three hours later, the four main rooms we spend most of our living in are clean.

As my husband and three young boys play the new Wii, and my teenage daughter and her aunt scour the stores for bargains, I cleaned. Have you ever watched one of the sitcoms on TV where the family has a cleaning lady. A character forever in the background cleaning and straightening while tossing witty comments into the dialog. That, I have decided is my role of late in this family.

I have cooked more in the past three days than a farmer's wife and cleaned up most of the messes. The old me would have pissed and moaned and made everyone feel generally terrible for not helping. Not the new me, the me who feels guilty for not having a job. Because I am not currently working outside the home as they say, I have put myself to work in this home and it is exhausting. At this point I can't wait to get a job so I can get my hands out of the cleaners long enough to sooth my dry skin.

I just have to say, and I have said it before, my hat goes off to stay at home moms who work from sun up until well after the sun goes down keeping their family fed, clothed and happy. I could keep doing this indefinitely, but I won't. Those kinds of moms also have to make financial sacrifices that I'm ill equipped to handle. Soon I will go back to being a working mom. The kind that spends her days off doing laundry and making up for chores not done during the week. Wait a minute, is that a better deal? Of course it is, because then I don't feel bad making the men in this house chip in.

Look out honey, your vacation from cooking and housework is almost over - are you sure you want to me to go back to work?

Is God Enough?

2008-12-20T10:56:00.002-05:00

My prayer and meditation of the past week seem to have a reoccurring theme.

God Is Enough.

As I have much more idle time on my hands these days than I am used to I have much time to reflect on my current situation and that of our country. I have come the realization that many years of my life have been spent searching for the material and social gain in our society and at those times I am the furthest from God. Perhaps that is what is going on with America and the world today. We all hunger for abundance to fill a void that can only be filled with the loving grace of God.

I'm not a member of any church, I am not an evangelical, but I do know that God is all knowing and all love. I have had the power of prayer and mediation work in my life. One of the lessons that is getting through to me right now is that I must re prioritize my goals to make my relationship with God and the fulfillment of God's will my number one priority. I don't know exactly how to do this but, with prayer and study I will try.

God, I'm knocking - I know it will open!

Love and Light to all who read this blog. May we all learn to live within God's love and heal our nation.

Fired, not Fired?

2008-12-17T19:07:00.002-05:00

Three weeks ago I went to work and if you read my blog you know, on that morning I was fired, but now the not so great company I worked for is saying that I was not fired. A battle for unemployment insurance is underway leaving me in the broke as a mule bin for at least the next three weeks. I do not know how the company can justify saying I was not fired since, well, they fired me but that isn't the point. The point is tens of thousands of Americans are losing their jobs and this is a very frightening place to be. My heart and soul ache for the families in the country who are struggling at this time. Wondering if they can make their bills, their mortgage payments, their car payments, college tuition, heck I have started packing lunches for my boys to save on lunch money.

I sit and wonder what can be done. The economy is in free fall and those of us who have tasted success and abundance and have lost it are hurting in a way that is hard to describe. It is a pain over material loss, but it is pain and it is real. Daily I remind myself that I have four healthy happy children, a husband who despite my mood swings of late, still loves me and a house that no one is trying to take away (yet).

My mind also races with lessons to be learned. We must learn to stop being such a consumer society, we must go back to saving not spending. The rainy day is here but for many of us, we put that rainy day account in the stock market and it is coming up dry.

Economic indicators show numbers worse than the Great Depression. I'm not sure what that means in today's economy but it is time for us to pull ourselves up by our collective bootstraps, stop looking for a handout and work as hard as we can as a people to be the great nation that we are. The government isn't going to be able to save this, but we can.

The very first step we can take is positive thought and prayer. It is easy and it is free. If everyone starting thinking about an end to this recession and prayed for a release from this lesson the power of that would be incalculable. It was a people who made this country great, not a government and it is a people who can make it great again!

Loans or Bailouts

2008-12-09T08:55:00.003-05:00

So, our hardworking men and women of the United States Congress apparently put in a full day of work yesterday trying to hammer out a plan to give the Auto Industry 15 Billion Tax Dollars. Meanwhile, AIG, the insurance giant who was just "too big to fail" is using our money for big fat corporate bonus checks for the "valuable" employees who ran the AIG train into the ditch in the first place. I suppose they are worried that the "valuable" execs. at AIG will get depressed if they don't get to hand out 4 million in bonuses at Christmas, while 1 in 10 American mortgage holders can't make their payments because their income has dropped significantly. All these handouts are ridiculous and I for one, don't believe our money is safe in the hands of any of these big corporate giants. Let AIG serve as the example of why the bailouts, cleverly disguised as "loans" are not going to solve the problem. If a business is failing, it has to be the fault of those at the helm and those people should be replaced by folks who are willing to put the work in to fix the issues.

I will continue to watch my tax dollars be poured into the huge money hole and wonder how I'm going to pay the bills while AIG gives out spa trips and big year end bonuses. Why isn't anyone else mad about this?

Trophy wife will never work

2008-12-05T10:21:00.002-05:00

Yep, the idea of becoming a Trophy Wife seemed like fun for a couple of days, I mean just a new title to make myself feel better. If I am going to give myself a title, it can't be that one - too used. One of my dear friends calls me Queen Bradley and I like that one too, but that gives off the air of too much to live up to. Nope, Mom is the title I am most proud of so I'm gonna have to stick with it for now. When folks ask me what I do, for now I am going to have to say, "I'm a mom of four healthy wonderful kids." Overall, regardless of what happens in my career, I may just have to stick with that one.

...Later today...I am going to put some thoughts down about the auto industry proposed bail out....

On becoming a Trophy Wife

2008-12-03T19:06:00.002-05:00

Trophy Wife:
She's educated, dedicates her days to bettering her community through charity work and philanthropy, she has impeccable manners and etiquette, and uses her status to better those around her and manages to look amazing while doing so. Trophy wives do three things: lunch, tennis, and their rich sexy husbands.

Well, as I read this definition I can try to fit the mold. I would rather be a trophy wife than unemployed. The problem is, I don't play tennis. I wonder if that excludes me from this group? My husband is accomplished and definately sexy but we aren't rich, but he is successful. I am going to have to work on this one for a while. I like the idea of being a Trophy Wife, because it sounds so much better than unemployed, or stay at home mom or unpaid writer. Stay tuned, I will again address the idea of being a trophy wife...

No More Bailouts

2008-12-02T12:50:00.000-05:00

No More Bailouts
Shore up the broken foundation
By: Laura Bradley
American Mom

United States Representative from the Great State of Texas, Louie Gohmert is apparently one of the few members of Congress who has an intelligent cell left in his brain. He has proposed a two month tax holiday for the American People - bravo Rep. Gohmert, you just might get it.
The foundation of this credit based, entitlement society we have created is broken. The foundation of the economy is not the banking industry as Wall Street would have you believe, it is not corporate giants, and it isn’t even the small business. The foundation of this economy is the American Worker, Taxpayer if you will. As one brick in the broken economy I am going to tell you exactly what is going on since the Congress of our great Country and the big corporate executives really don’t understand why we are not buying cars, or homes or even luxury grocery items.
My husband and I are a very typical American family. We have four children, we both, up until this week, worked outside of the home. The last six years have been fantastic for us. We have enjoyed great success in our jobs grossing an average income of $100,000 a year. With that income we have been able to buy a home, a car, a van, a third car for our teenager. We enjoyed vacations with our family, bought what we wanted at Wal-Mart, never worried about new shoes for the kids and paid all our bills on time.
Fast forward to 2008. As the economy began to slow we saw our small investments shrink, and shrink some more until they were gone - safety net gone. Because we are in the sales industry and sell a luxury item we began to hear objections about finances from our customers and our income began to fall. No fear, we cut back a little. No more housekeeper, no more manicures or pedicures for me, I found a less expensive salon, we were more careful at the grocery store It was all good, we felt we would weather the storm.
It was about August of this year when we began to really feel the pinch. We realized our income had not just dropped, it had diminished by more than 25-percent. Our industry nation wide began layoffs and shutdowns, as I said we, sell a luxury item and those are the first to go. September came our savings were depleted from making up for lost income. October things went from bad to worse, November - wow, can we really afford a Turkey this year and now we face Christmas.
We are a block in this economy, our block no longer supports many local business because we had to cut out luxury items, and some high end essentials. No more drycleaner, so that business loses our money, no more impulse buys so the local retailers lose our money, no more high end items at the grocery store so the grocery loses that money. By not spending our dollars on anything other than necessities we will cost other people jobs.
This week I was laid off and we are now a one income family. For the first time in my life I have applied for unemployment benefits. I am but one brick in this economic foundation. Unless the little bricks are bailed out all the money being poured on the top of this jumbled heap of derailed economy will be like, as my Mother used to say “pouring money down a rat hole.”
I am no highly educated economist, however, it is common sense that if you put the money of the American people in the hands of the American people they will spend it. If the money is spent, the economy is stimulated, jobs are created and recovery will begin. Listen to Rep. Gohmert and build upon his idea. The little American understands more than you give us credit for and I for one am getting mad. No more bait and switch from the government. Stop bailing out failing industries. Give the money to the people and the people will weed out the weak.
The basics of the problem are simple. If consumers in my industry cannot purchase my product, I cannot purchase my neighbors product, thus making it impossible for my neighbor to purchase a car. If my neighbor cannot buy a car, the car salesman cannot buy new furniture, if the furniture salesman cannot sell his product, he cannot buy groceries for his family or pay his loans and the cycle continues until, as in the paraphrased words of president George W. Bush, “This thing is gonna run off the tracks.”
Guess what boys….we have derailed. Start building from the ground up and let us keep and spend our money. We, the American people will handle the rest.

Overwhelmed

2008-11-30T10:20:00.000-05:00

Tears stream down my face today. The river of uncontrolled emotion that has been bubbling to the top was set free today. I can't say I didn't see it coming, in a way I had hoped for it, the bond broken. Losing a job is like ending a relationship I suppose. I haven't been fired from a job many times. I can think of one small part time job but other than that, I have always left on my own from one place or another for reasons now that seem silly. Today however, no matter how much I did not like my job, it was painful to know it had come to an end. I had become used to the misery and drudgery of it. I felt almost at home in the endless political scramble and pressure.

The pain I feel is that of failure not of loss. Fear encompasses me for my husband. He is struck in the gut by today's events. I know he was truly not expecting it, while my intuition gave me clues. I saw the pain and the fear in his eyes today. He now has the entire financial load on his shoulders and his protection of me causes him anger at them. I know because I have felt the protective instinct when I felt he had been wronged.

Compounding my fear is the disappointment my children will have on Christmas morning. They don't have any needs, but they have never known a less than abundant Christmas. I have attempted to prepare them for the reality of very few gifts, but the boys are young, they believe in the magic. I have made them believe only to set them up for this disappointment. Cruel really.

I have become a person I myself would pity. I am exhausted from worry and feel stuck in the sand of my own helplessness. Although I have all the needed resources from education to ability to climb out of this ditch, I lack the energy and fortitude at the moment. The reality is just too overwhelming.

Thanksgiving and giving Thanks

2008-11-27T18:59:00.000-05:00

Thanksgiving at my home has been a well planned orchestrated event in which I invite friends to come over. The planning is usually endless and the shopping exhausting. For the years that I have done this, it was never perfect and I so wanted it to be perfect.

2008 was not a year to attempt perfection. I certainly did not have the extra jingle in the pocket to feed twenty people. I did not have the patience or the desire to put on a Thanksgiving Day spread. Low key was the plan and only my immediate - live in my house - family were on the list for table guests.

I woke up at 5 a.m., put the Turkey in the oven by 7 a.m. watched the parade on TV, didn't stress about a thing. Made the side dishes and even the deviled eggs. When I took out Tom Turkey he was perfect, all the side dishes were warm and the bread was done perfectly.

We prayed and thanked God for our blessings, ate and had a wonderful time.

I am so thankful for a blessed and finally "perfect" holiday.

11.21.08

2008-11-21T17:01:00.000-05:00

Blogging, everyone is doing it. I thought I would give this new techno way of writing a shot. There will be no theme for my blog. I'm certainly not going to change the world.

Shall I start with the title of my blog. Random Thoughts of a Wine Soaked Mind. No I'm not a psychotic alcoholic. I am random and I love wine. I have days when my thoughts focus on my family and immediate surroundings and there are times when I think about the world as a whole and my role in it and the impact of our existence and why we are here...etc., random..see. I have many thoughts about politics so you will read much political humor, musings and rantings here.

Tonight, I will leave this blog with only this minor introduction. I write for clarity of mind for me, but it may not seem clear as you read. That is why it is random.

Laura