It is what a Mom does

I was jolted from sleep by the words a Mother does not want to hear.

"Mom, I'm going to be....."

That sentence never concludes with words, just vomit. Once you have cleaned vomit up and soothed a sick child you are pretty much awake.

I sit, I watch, I listen. It is what a Mom does at 12:30 am when her sick and feverish child lays beside her. Anticipating each movement, each breath, analyzing each movement.

He is awake too. Two days of fever induced lethargy has left him rested. He is bored, but sick. The Tylenol has kicked in so the fever is diminishing, yet again. He feels better as the medicine masks the symptoms of his small body and army of an immune system attacking the virus that has invaded.

This is not the first time I have sat, watched and waited through the night. It most likely will not be the last. Sleep for a Mother with a sick child is not an option. It is easier now that he and his siblings are older. I do not suffer from constant sleep deprivation as I did when they were babies. I can easily sit and watch and wait the night away.

The stillness of the house is comforting in it's own way. It is not often it is quiet and still. It gives opportunity to reflect.

As I care for him in his illness with the love and kindness of my heart, he will in turn grow to give and show love to others. It is the cycle we hope to fulfill. Each has his or her own part and sacrifice to make in the process. Mine is to stand Motherly guard as a nurse and a comfort. His Father, although sleeps, does so restlessly in less than ideal comfort. It was his Father who was displaced from his own bed to allow my sitting and watching and waiting. I could easily have pulled up a chair in the child's room but I did not. At least I have the comfort of my own bed should I find sleep tonight.

It is so indescribable, the love a Mother feels for her child. When they are hurt you mend, when they are sick you tend. Sometimes all you can do is lay your head down and pray for help and strength. It is at times like this that I think of Mothers who have children who are seriously ill. Not just a school yard virus but an illness so powerful as to leave you powerless. The hours of sitting and watching and waiting must be overwhelming at times.

How terrifying it is to make the decisions of when to reach out for help and when the sail on alone. Do I bring him to the doctor, do I wait it out, will this progress to a point where it becomes an emergency because the wrong decision was made. These things all float through my mind as I sit, and I wait and I watch.

Each cough makes me jump, each breath is noted. I reach to him - is he hot? Does he feel cold? Is he comfortable.

My watching and waiting may be coming to an end for this evening. His fever seems to have fully subsided and he has fallen back into slumber. I will close my eyes and try to sleep and at some point I will. It is with hopefulness I pray I wake to my energy filled chatterbox tomorrow, but if I do not, I will sit, I will watch and I will wait. It is what a Mom does.